"At least he doesn't sleep in the nude"

My curfew is midnight. This means I usually pull into the driveway at around 11:59. I then jog up the stairs (silently, mind you) and check in with my mom in the guest room. I swear my parents are cool, they just can't use the same mattress for their backs.

Anyway, I followed the same routine on Sunday night. I poked my head in the bedroom and whispered "mom" a few times to try to wake her up. When this didn't work, I called a little louder. No response. I didn't want to startle her by turning on the light, but I didn't want to yell either. So being the intelligent person I am at that hour, I decided to bounce on the end of the bed until she woke up. Still no response. At this point, my cell starts to vibrate so I bolt across the hall to my room to silence it. When I came back, my sister asked me what the hell I was doing. I told her our mom was in a coma. This is when my mom comes from the master bedroom and asks what's going on.

Errr...?

Apparently my sister's boyfriend from bettendorf was staying the night. When he awoke to some girl bouncing on the end of his bed calling him mother, he decided not to say a word and just pray to god she fell and hit her head.

Breakfast couldn't have been more interesting.