"Just let me catch my breath"

No posts recently on account of a new school year. The first 3 days I had at least 3 hours of homework each night after cross country, followed by 10 hours of work on the weekend, tutor on Sunday morning, and 3 baker's dozen meetings. It really wasn't too bad, though. I knew the first week would be a bit crazy, so I did my best to keep things running smoothly.

There's no doubt this year will be the toughest yet. I've never balanced work, school, BD, and athletics simultaneously. I've come to think of it as a round of tai-kwan-doe between me and what I must do. Graceful, timed moves will both protect my well being and defeat my opponent (tonight, this opponent was 15 pages of AP Euro reading).

It's official. Junior year is here. Have you got your game face* on?


: ) <--- That's my bad ass game face*

"Crap"

This is the 103 rd post. I was going to say something about it when I reached 100, but I forgot. There was going to be a party. And cake. And ice cream. And you would have been there. And it would have been great. *sigh* does anyone around here count in base 103?

"What do you mean? I love kids. Can't get enough of the little bastards."

I needed volunteer hours for the silver cord award, but hadn't volunteered all summer. The IPTV booth at the fair features Clifford, so they needed people to wear the suit. This gave me the chance to earn a lot of hours very quickly. I signed up for 6 shifts, each lasting 4 hours. The job entails wearing the Clifford outfit, greeting children, and maintaining one's sanity...simultaneously.

I've complained enough already, so I'll just try to sum things up.

(2) hours of cross country training before commute
(45) minute drive to the fair grounds
(25) dollars spent on parking (would have been thirty, but I ran out of money on the last day and ended up parking a mile away)
(7) people sharing sweat in one suit
(9,600) children greeted during my shifts
(12) children who sneezed on me through the eye holes of the suit
(12) failed attempts at willing myself to die


Needless to say, I'm a little bitter towards the young ones right now. But at least I had (1) back rub that made everything better.

"At least he doesn't sleep in the nude"

My curfew is midnight. This means I usually pull into the driveway at around 11:59. I then jog up the stairs (silently, mind you) and check in with my mom in the guest room. I swear my parents are cool, they just can't use the same mattress for their backs.

Anyway, I followed the same routine on Sunday night. I poked my head in the bedroom and whispered "mom" a few times to try to wake her up. When this didn't work, I called a little louder. No response. I didn't want to startle her by turning on the light, but I didn't want to yell either. So being the intelligent person I am at that hour, I decided to bounce on the end of the bed until she woke up. Still no response. At this point, my cell starts to vibrate so I bolt across the hall to my room to silence it. When I came back, my sister asked me what the hell I was doing. I told her our mom was in a coma. This is when my mom comes from the master bedroom and asks what's going on.

Errr...?

Apparently my sister's boyfriend from bettendorf was staying the night. When he awoke to some girl bouncing on the end of his bed calling him mother, he decided not to say a word and just pray to god she fell and hit her head.

Breakfast couldn't have been more interesting.

The words, man, they're everywhere

I know the last couple posts have been unusually lengthy. I don't know what's gotten into me. I apologize if it was more than your attention span could take. Here, try a smaller size. It might fit better in your head...

I'm reading a WWII book for AP Euro. I'm volunteering to wear the Clifford suit at the fair. Thus, I was reading "Hitler & The Final Solution" when they IPTV people came to put me in the suit. Needless to say I had some explaining to do before they let me interact with the kids.

This way we can avoid the topic in conversation

0 Spanish III - Cooley

1 Pre calc C - Muenzenmay

2 AP Euro - Thornton

3 US History - Hinton

4 Free

5o Survey of Engineering - Ripperger

5b PE - Thornton

6 World Lit - Perry

7 AP Chem - Beckman

8 Free

"I need some, uhh...stuff"

This was what Troy said when he walked into Active Endeavors today. I've only been working there for a few weeks, but I know enough about our stock to realize this requires a follow up question.

"What kind of stuff?" wait, was that what my manager called the inventory?
"I need some stuff to keep me from dying on a two day hike in the Grand Canyon." Good, good. He's trusting me with his life. Way to build a customer relationship.

"Do you have shoes?" I asked.
*we both look at his adidas* "No"
"Ok, we have shoes"
"Yes"

And with this stunning display of people skills I showed him the wall of men's hiking boots. He looked things over for a bit, then asked me "Other than price, what's the difference between these two?" I've never hiked in fancy boots, been educated on footwear, nor worn men's shoes (except for that one time). But this man's life was at stake. I'd better come up with some bull shit fast.

"One is green...(I tell it like it is)...because of the different material used" Nice save, now we're up to 3 syllable words.
"Ah, can I see this is a ten?" Troy, darling, you can see anything with your imagination. When your feet return to Iowa covered in blisters and snake bites, you can imagine I sold you the right pair of boots.
"yeah, I'll be right back" To the bat cave!

I returned with the shoes and sat down to help lace him up. The only problem was the boots didn't have laces, they had draw strings.

"It's kinda handy actually. This way you don't have to worry about tripping over your laces and falling off a cliff...heh heh heh." I'm sure he was laughing on the inside.

After he strolled around the store for a few minutes, he decided the boots would work for him. I boxed them up and asked what else he would need.

"You guys sell tents?"
"We don't have any in stock right now. They were all bought in the sale last week" We both reflect on this for a moment.
"Wow, so many more people have tents now than before" Whoa, Troy, I can't even get my head around that. I don't think either of us is up to philosification today.

And with that, we headed to the register. It occurred to me that based on my deep understanding of this customer and the nature of his purchase, he would spend two days streaking in the grand canyon wearing nothing but hiking boots. He would have to survive by eating the little tab on the draw string.

"Will that be all for you today?"
"No, wait! (I need a light weight sleeping bag, some dried food, a flame cooker, one waterproof jacket, a brown tilley hat, and an emergency snake bite kit!..he seemed to say) I'd better grab some chapstick."
"Oh, right." Good call, Troy. It'd be so embarrassing if you had chapped lips when they find your body. I rung him up and bagged his items.
"Thanks. I'll be back for the winter sale!" He said as he walked out the door.





God willing, Troy. God willing.

Lest we forget

I know we've all seen this, but you know what these things do to me. I laughed so hard I damn near had a hernia. http://youtube.com/watch?v=TH0rS4hyJzg

Trippin'

The wisdom teeth came out yesterday. After the laughing gas, the nova cane, and whatever the hell they put in the IV, I was miles away. At first, the gas didn't do anything because I was so congested. Then the nurse messed up the IV on my right arm, so they had to switch to my left arm. All the while they've got a bunch of pulse/ heart rate/ blood pressure things hooked up to me. Between the lack of laughing gas and the excess of messing with my veins, those things were beeping like crazy (yeah, it was impossible to fain comfort). But as soon as the doctor came in, he cranked the IV waaay up. That's when things got interesting.

I looked down at my left arm and noticed it was made of ice. Then my head started floating towards the ceiling. On the ride home, I discussed the secrets of the universe with my dad - not realizing I had gauze in my mouth. Apparently I was just speaking gibberish. He told me to stop trying to talk, so I settled for doing disco moves in the passenger seat.

As soon as I got home, I yelled "I'm OK!" a bunch of times as I stumbled up the stairs. As my mom helped me into my bed, I mumbled something about the Chinese, then fell asleep. I woke up about 10 minutes later and noticed my lower lip was gone. I spent a couple of minutes trying to find where I had dropped it before falling asleep again. I dreamt I had worms inside of me.

Most of the stuff had worn off by around 1:00, but my mind wasn't really 100% until this morning. I kept repeating myself and bumping into things (side affects from hydrocordone). The cool thing is that little 5 MG pain killer knocks me out in exactly 8 minutes. Every time!

So for anyone worried about the surgery - don't be. The scary part isn't painful and the painful part isn't scary.

In fact, the entire procedure is wimp-proof.